


never alone.

by daffodoie



Series: (fluffy) 5 AM dotae fics [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (I hope it's still somewhat of an enjoyable read), (also I do realize this writing is very different from my usual style), (also dw its still a happy ending), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Might be a bit ooc, Pass it on, bc this is more driven by my own emotions than my past fics, but I have always felt like Doyoung's a huge overthinker, dotae soulmates, mind the note at the end, this was only partially written in the middle of the night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24376195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daffodoie/pseuds/daffodoie
Summary: Doyoung felt overwhelmed by stress and couldn't get out of his own head. Thankfully, Taeyong was there to help him out and through it.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Series: (fluffy) 5 AM dotae fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754260
Comments: 4
Kudos: 125





	never alone.

"Doyoung, please."

No answer.

"Please open up for me."

A choked sob.

"Please, please open the door. Let me help you."

Finally, a reply to Taeyong's begging.

"Just a second, I just need a second, please." _I need to get myself together before I can face you._

Doyoung's strained voice only barely managed to get every word out.

Taeyong's heart clenched at the sound.

"Doyoung, you don't need to do this alone. Not anymore, remember? You don't need to 'get yourself together'. I'm here for you. Always. Please, don't hide from me. Not again."

He knew. Doyoung knew he wasn't lying, he knew he could show him his vulnerable side - he _wanted_ to show him his vulnerable side and he usually wouldn't be like this.

They've spent so much time together, Taeyong was the first one to make him feel like he didn't have to carry his burden by himself, that he'd be there to help him. And he has proven it many times before, when Doyoung has felt like this, and Doyoung would let him.

Taeyong would know exactly what to say to make him feel better, they'd always end up cuddled up with a content smile on both of their faces.

But that day was a bit different.

Doyoung suddenly couldn't get himself to let Taeyong in. He was starting to resort back to his old patterns of keeping everything to himself and he was afraid of it, afraid to ruin the trust and communication they've built over the years. Not just as a couple, but as best friends.

The past few days have been overwhelming. Apparently a bit _too_ overwhelming for Doyoung. Nothing went as planned, he felt like everyone was out to get him, everything that he thought was a thing of the past somehow made its way back up his mind. He was stressed; there was too much to do, too little time and too many expectations to live up to.

And just like that, the culmination of all those things, paired with a good dose of overthinking and doubt, lead to the anxious mess that was Doyoung.

Doyoung had locked himself in his room. Their entire dorm had gone out to different places on their day off; Doyoung, Johnny, Haechan, Taeil and Taeyong as a group, but Doyoung realized very quickly that he wouldn't be able to keep it in for much longer, no matter how much he had wanted to spend some time together with his friends.

He excused himself at the restaurant table they were seated at, in the middle of their meal, saying he had to go back to the dorms, that he'd be right back.

He hadn't mentioned anything to Taeyong about this beforehand and Taeyong, who had been suspicious of his behavior all along, quickly trailed behind him, following him out of the restaurant.

Doyoung kept quiet the entire way back and the moment they arrived at their dorm, he fled to his room -

Leading them to where they are now.

Doyoung tried his hardest to hold back the tears and sobs, the consequences of his fruitless efforts staining his bedsheets. He had ended up on his knees, face pressed into the edge of his bed. Taeyong helplessly knocked on the door, desperately wanting to hold Doyoung and help him with whatever it was he was going through.

Having to idly listen to his love go through pain was one of the worst things Taeyong could possibly go through. He could barely keep _himself_ together at that point.

"Whatever it is, Doyoung.. _whatever_ _it is_ , please. Don't do this to me, don't do it to _yourself_ and open the door for me, alright?"

The concern in Taeyong's voice was heavy. No matter how much Doyoung would doubt everything about his life, there was one thing he could never doubt and it was the love Taeyong had for him. In every aspect of their lives, Taeyong never failed to show his affection for the other.

Every little encouraging smile from across the room, the subtle touch of his hand during shootings, even just the comfortable moments of silence in Taeyong's bed - he felt so loved, he felt like there'd never be anyone else but Taeyong.

But now he also felt like he was hurting Taeyong, wasting his time and emotions. He felt guilty. Doyoung shook his head, pressed both palms against it as he tried to will the thoughts away, his cries escaping out of his control.

All he could hear were his own chaotic thoughts, consuming his mind -

But there was something else there amidst all of it and Doyoung determinedly tried to hold onto it, forcing everything else away. Just like how Taeyong would always tell him to.

\- Taeyong's voice. 

Taeyong's voice that was so desperately trying to get through to him.

Taeyong's voice that came from a very small distance, right behind the door.

Taeyong's body, pressed against his door.

Taeyong, who was starting to sound more worried as the seconds ticked by.

 _Taeyong_ , the love of his life.

"Taeyong, it's me - Taeyong. Stop thinking, stop thinking. Listen to me. Don't listen to anything else."

_Taeyong, who'd know exactly what to say to make me feel better._

Doyoung mustered up the last bit of strength he had left to stand up and head over to the locked door of his room.

_Taeyong, who'd smile at me from across the room and brush his hand against mine when he thought no one was looking._

Everything inside his mind was getting quieter. Doyoung kept focusing on _one_ thing.

He put his hand on the key and twisted it.

_Taeyong, there'd never be anyone else but Taeyong._

He finally opened the door.

_Taeyong._

What was revealed to him was the familiar sight of the person who had always stuck by his side, never leaving him alone.

Taeyong's teary eyes widened and he sighed in relief, more of a gasp maybe.

Doyoung's own tears were still coming out in streams as his body shook - before he _finally_ gave in.

He let himself fall into Taeyong's open arms, wrapping himself around him like his life depended on it, on that one embrace.

The other did nothing but hold him tight, feeling like the heavy weight on him was lifted and replaced by the safe weight of his love in his arms.

He didn't let go as he guided them back into the room and towards the bed, slowly rocking back and forth. They sat down, Doyoung still crying into his neck. But now it felt like with the tears came all the stress flooding out of him.

Taeyong soothingly stroked his hair and back, whispering affirmations against his forehead from where he had his lips pressed against it.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay. I'm so proud of you, it's okay."

And Doyoung, being trapped inside his mind, had almost forgotten how much the simple words _'it's okay'_ meant to him, coming from Taeyong.

It meant _it's okay that you're crying, it's okay that you resisted, it's okay to feel this way, it's okay to open up - it's okay, I'm here for you._

It always baffled Doyoung, how Taeyong could convey so much in only a few words. It was just one reason why he loved him the way he did.

It took a couple more minutes of Doyoung hiccuping, rubbing his face into the crook of Taeyong's neck, arms tightening around him every so often until his sobs finally started to die down. Taeyong never stopped the comforting touches and steady flow of words.

Taeyong slid his hands to his waist and gently nudged him to move back, so he could properly face him. When he did, Taeyong gave him a gentle smile, bringing a hand up to caress his tear-stained cheek. Doyoung placed a hand of his own over it, leaning into the touch as he closed his eyes.

The stress and the anxiety was now contained again, brought down to as small of a size as it could be. He felt calm again.

He opened his eyes to look at Taeyong. It was time for _him_ to get some affirmation.

"It.. it's alright now. I promise it was just me in my head. I haven't been listening to what my mind needed these past few days, maybe even weeks and I ended up not being able to think straight. Thank you, for always being here."

He almost whispered it, his voice still strained from all the crying, but Taeyong heard it.

And he kept smiling at him softly.

"Always. You had me really scared though."

Doyoung furrowed his eyebrows apologetically.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

Taeyong pulled him back in for a hug, now noticing the vibrations of his phone in his pocket and pulling it out.

A whopping 17 messages and four missed calls from Johnny.

"Oh.. I guess we should apologize to _them_." Taeyong showed him the screen and laughed.

The last message read: - _Please at least text me if everything is okay. Otherwise, we'll either have to assume that you've been kidnapped or are doing inappropriate things that I'd really rather not specify. I'm not sure I wanna find out for myself, with my own eyes, either way, so please. Just a text._

Doyoung broke out into laughter and shook his head.

"I really want to let them keep guessing for that, but we shouldn't. I- _we_ did leave them hanging."

So Taeyong quickly typed out a reply.

_\- We're fine, but we'll be staying home. Enjoy your day! (also, I think it's still ok to assume one of those things & I also won't specify which one ^-^)_

It was definitely worth the smack on his head he earned from Doyoung. _Definitely._

**Author's Note:**

> [Please do note that, especially for this fanfic, - it is fiction. The type of love, the behavior people will display in stressful situations - in general and towards others - what people need to deal with situations like this, it's all fictional and doesn't necessarily portray what a healthy, loving relationship should look like in real life.]
> 
> I'm not doing very well as I write this but writing kind of helps me. I'm feeling very down and just pulled out my laptop. Negative feelings somehow increase my productivity. But I tried to lighten the mood there at the end. I'm sorry if it's a bit too sad, especially compared to the rest of this series.
> 
> Hopefully the next one will be a bit more cheerful.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading as always, comments and kudos are immensely appreciated. :)
> 
> Leave me a message: https://curiouscat.qa/bunyoungie


End file.
